Monday, June 28, 2010

Babadjanian Poem

This piece, performed by the amazing Jie Chen, is what I'm currently trying to memorize.



One of the scariest things I've ever taken upon myself.

The Bookend Brothers Bond Over Those Fabulous Beekman Boys

OR HOW ANIMAL HUSBANDRY GOT ITS GAY ON

Just a few days ago, Gavin and I were lounging on the sofas in front of the flat screen downstairs. Having wrestled the remote from him after suggesting he was in dire need of a hot shower (he smelled like the dairy farm where he works), I flipped through the channels, trying to find an episode of Dr. Who or something else of equal "interesting" or "intellectually expansive" factors. It was a Saturday afternoon and not much was garnering my attention. I passed over the SciFi and Spike channels and began the fascinating journey through The Discovery Channel, The Learning Channel and --that sometimes frightening place on the wavelength which reminds me why I'm glad I grew up human -- Animal Planet.

Nothing was catching my eye, and I was about ready to give the remote back to Gav; however, as we passed through more nature documentaries than Jane Goodall could dream of, I saw it as I almost skimmed over Planet Green -- one of those words that enraptures all gays -- that divine and flashy adjective: FABULOUS!!!



Gavin groaned, "Mom and I saw a commercial about this. It's some new show about gay farmers."

I grinned.  "Let's see what this about," I teased as I put the remote down and settled into a pile of embroidered pillows.

Gavin rolled his eyes, but then he got comfortable, too. I think he was, perhaps, intrigued by the premise of a couple of queers prancing about a gorgeous farm and, although he'll never admit this, I think (and I would have never imagined it) he's kind of started to like watching some of my shows with me.  What Not to Wear.  Chelsea Lately.  Glee.  He always, always, always pulls up an armchair when I'm watching those McKinley High kids overexert their ice-pack-me-right-after-this-take-is-finished vocal chords on Hulu.  I've even found Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson's Journey duet (among others) on iTunes.  I haven't bought any of the albums.

So.  Anyway.  We're watching and the gents are introducing themselves.  Brent's the former VP of Martha Stewart's something and Josh used to be a drag-queen.  This could get a little uncomfortable for Gav, I thought.  Maybe I really should find something else to watch.  And then, the moment for which no one would have been prepared:  we meet Farmer Jo, a bald, hefty, rural upstate New Yorker.  He has been hired on as the gentlemen farmers' goatkeeper.  He's talking about how if it weren't for Brent and Josh and the Beekman farm, he'd have lost the goats and how much he loves his animals and he starts crying!!!  I looked over at Gavin.  He looked at me.  We burst out laughing and watched the next three episodes of The Fabulous Beekman Boys, giggling together for another 90 minutes.   



The New York Times may not agree, but I kind of know that shows are brilliant when Gavin and I -- from two completely different molds -- can bond over watching them.  The fact that Gavin, in his muck boots and manure suit, and I, in my skinny jeans and hair paste, can sit and see facets of ourselves and each other in this stupid reality television show; the fact that we can giggle about how we do or don't fit into the stereotypes of cowboy or farmer or sensitive or gay man; or the fact that we can discuss our experience with having used or being the target of derogations like redneck and fag after watching this particular TV show is really incredible.

Who knew the gays and the rural backwater boys could enjoy the same thing so much?

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Reading Old Facebook Notes

From Jan 27: "25 Random Things"

1 - I abhor these kinds of excercizes, as they always leave me contemplating the mysteries of my Self. Some little idiosyncracy gets glaringly revealed, and then I have to grapple with that, in public.

2 - Poetry is feeling a tenderness toward this existence named life, and having to write it out to understand why it is.

3 - The older I become, the more I realize that family is the only thing that really matters. Being in a family provides one with lessons in love, forgiveness and humor. I'm grateful for mine.

4 - I also believe that my friends are the best people I know. They are the good people who provide me the high mark against which I measure myself. Thank you.

5 - I am not a kind person, but I'm honest. I won't give you praise for a mediocre performance that leaves me feeling unfulfilled; however, I will wait in line until the cows come home to let you know when your genius has inspired me.

6 - I like Emily Dickinson because we both have felt the need to hide; I adore e.e. cummings because we both laugh with all the energy we can muster; I revere Gerard Manley Hopkins because we both are in a beautiful struggle to understand the "WHY" of God.

7 - The best jokes are dirty. They're even funnier when someone in the room just doesn't get it.

8 - I want to wake up, some warm, lazy Sunday, and read Pablo Neruda's sonnets to the one I love as light cascades inside from the windows.

9 - If I ever have children, I will fingerpaint with them. We will search for spiders' webs and toadstools and all the secret things Nature keeps until you find them, and fill with wonder. I will teach them to love the freedom of their voices by letting them sing. And I will most definitely make them sit beside me, watching Cinderella, The Fox and the Hound, Finding Nemo, Wall-E and every movie starring Audrey Hepburn.

10 - I love the feeling of having mud caked on my body! My favorite YM/YW activites were on fall nights when we would soak a big field and play mud football. I absolutely relish how the squishiness between your toes and on your legs and under your shirt and in your hair becomes a crust you flake off in little pieces. Possibly, this is why I crave facials when I am at the beauty college.

11 - I think "Tickle My Fingers" is the most brilliant expression I have ever come up with.

12 - I say I'm afraid of rabbits (I am!), but I really fear other people. And being alone in a house at night. And trust.

13 - I really, really would like to gain 30 lbs. Really.

14 - When I feel morose, I bake. The Eccles boys really liked it when I was having a bad day.

15 - I hate carrying spare change because it jingles. I usually put any change I get from the cashier into the spare change jar. Don't ask me for pennies, because I don't keep them. But don't be surprised if I ask you for a couple.

16 - Indoor plumbing is miraculous, but public restrooms are banal.

17 - I absolutely delight in certain curse words. Sometime, when you're playing the Wii, and you think you get a brake from dancing with those damn rabbits, and the dancing keeps going, you must yell, "What?!? I can't quit? I've been moving like a bitch on crack!" That just tastes good.

18 - On the other hand, there are words I detest. Any time a person uses their words to degrade another, to dehumanize--this is evil.

19 - I may have forgotten what the Pythagorean theorem is, but at least I can spell Pythagorean!

20 - My soul longs for Tuscany. I will live there for two years when I have completed my doctoral degree, and then rent a summer villa every year thereafter.

21 - Looking at the stars reminds me of the way I felt as a little boy when Mom would make us waffles or pancakes in the morning: small, and wonderfully content.

22 - Post-it notes irritate me. Annotations do not.

23 - I grew up with poor grammar. Some things can be overcome.

24 - I don't enjoy texting -- I would rather speak with you on the phone, and I don't enjoy speaking on the phone, either.

25 - I'm finished!

All of it still rings true. :D

First Posts

I love finding new blogs of interest (or returning to my favorite old clicks), scrolling down the right side of the screen, perusing the blog archives and post titles as I search for the very first post of the blog I'm currently reading.  It's so fun for me to see the reason, the motivation, the seed which flowered and became your blog.  Blogs aren't ever completed works and it's so fascinating to read the progressive snippets of writers' lives, to speculate about why you chose to write about this post or upload this photo, to guess at the before and the after of the events you share.  I heartily enjoy comparing whatever post I'm reading to your initial post, trying to decide how or if this post fits into the picture of what you wrote your blog might be.  I love reading your blogs--so much!

So, today I went back and read my first post, trying to decide if I've kept on track with what I thought my blog would become.  I'm not sure that I quite knew what I was going to write about  when I wrote it.  I had an inchoate idea that I'd be writing big thoughts about poetry and philosophy and music and literature and how these things help me understand and love and accept divinity in my life--that my blog would be my shrine to the arts and why they are so needed in making the lives of any human being more related to the sacred, maybe.  It's not though; I think it's become a place where I describe small moments of revelation and beauty and love and anger and peace, times when I'm surprised by joy, those moments which unveil the confusion and beauty and clarity of this being that is me.

I look more sharply for those kinds of every day epiphanies than I did before deciding to keep a blog.  I don't write about them every day, but I do find them:  a funny joke lightening up a heavy rehearsal; a wobbly roan-colored foal nuzzling its mother on HWY 89; civiche at the Sonora Grill; watering the rosebushes in the front yard.  These moments are the petals on the flower of my life, those beautiful times where I'm unafraid to pick myself, to revel in the glee of living, to thank God for reminding me that small holinesses are, more often than not, so much more moving than excessive pageantries.