- you, standing next to my piano, pretending to peruse old photos on the wall
- grabbing gas station wine
- running for coffee and Hannaford muffins
- smoothing white sheets and white sand and rubbing white sunscreen into our tanning backs
- letting our waitresses and the coffee girls and that sexy artist believe we were a couple from "The City" on holiday
- your fingers tickling the air when you talk
- acknowleding my stony disappointment when you talked about your four-year-long Him
- hating/needing/loving that final dinner together (thank you, Subway) before your four-year-long Him showed up for the opening of our show
- smiling because you're a bitch-of-a-flirt (but so am i) even when your four-year-long Him is around
- trying to assuage your appalled frustration and eventual fuck-its when she re-clumped/re-staged/re-choreographed your show
- your teeth, lined up like tight soldiers
- your arms
- your red swimming briefs
- you
- being late to "lobstah" dinners and being okay with being tardy
- neither of us stopping the rumors that we were show-mancing each other
- letting the rumors fuel fiery undercurrents
- trying to convince myself to keep a difficult boundary
- you, not letting anyone else sit next to me when we all went to the beach to watch 4th-of-july fireworks
- me, not letting anyone else to sit next to you when we all went to the beach to watch 4th-of-july fireworks
- acknowledging i'd let myself have my first crush without feeling any sort of guilt or fear or self-condemnation
- you, telling me i was the only "option" you would've pursued
- me, wishing i could have talked myself into yielding
- now, glad i didn't yield
- missing you so much more than i expected i would
- arguing with myself each time we've communicated since you left
- looking at some lessons learned
- knowing that even though i tripped in the water and probably broke my foot, this day was one of the best and happiest days of my life. #becauseiknewyou
i promise, i'm not nearly as elegant or well-composed in real life. i'm an emotional, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants-as-long-as-i-think-i'm--in-control-of-the-trip kind of person. i'm great with spur-of-the-moment picnics, friday-night-art-strolls, pick-up-and-move-across-the-country-because-there's-a-gig kind of vibratory living, but i'm lost and unsure as the next in unfamiliar territory. i write well, but i'm not good at putting down solid roots (crazy geminis, right? flighty as bats out of hell!). i get drunk with people i trust (and forsake capitalization when i am so hammered) and i live my life probably too invested in miniscule moments.
i care too deeply about spelling rules, but there's no need to be intimidated, (i don't know your name!) Friend: i'm as wonderfully lost and happy and unfinished as the next soul.
i spend the summer with fireflies and the atlantic tide. i make good music and bad jugdements. trust me, i'm as human and unintimidating and blessedly-beautifully flawed as anyone!
