Reunion

I forget how much I need music until I haven't really made it--I mean really studied and practiced and cried over it in a practice room--until I haven't felt my soul enlarged by it's expansiveness.   It's been a lovely Christmas break, but it's time to get back to the music I've missed so much.

Beautiful

Dornbracht - Transforming Water 360 degree from The Brainstormclub on Vimeo.

for an actress i miss on wednesday nights

...play on.
          --Twelfth Night, Act 1, scene 1, 1


you,
sleeping here after the night becomes drunk
on rhapsodies wrung from tuneless keys,
on improvisations conjured up from cello strings, 
the richest kinds of wordless songs--


you,
breathing a soft berceuse,
warming my right side,
sleeping late under my lullabied blankets
while morning hangs over itself,
quiet and thin--


tomorrow, i will walk down stairs and find limp blooms bending in a crystal vase


i will reel at that absent space 
where you would have been
had other musics and other nights not called

Rachmaninov: Prelude in D Flat Major, Op. 32, No. 13

Rachmaninov: Etude-Tableau in C Minor, Op. 33, No. 3

Beethoven: Sonata in A Flat Major, Op. 110, Mvt. I

Bach: Prelude and Fugue, BWV 868

ephemeron

you enter a small, locked room. there are no windows and

the air lacks imagination.  you place scores--bach, beethoven, rachmaninov--

on the music stand and sit carefully upon the black leather bench 

(an artist's bench).

                      artist:  seek their inspirations--bach, beethoven, rachmaninov--

in this uninspiring room.  your work is placing your fingers upon the keys

day after day after day:

excite the current

wash and wring the unimaginative air within the whorl of your ear

(frustrate your already frustated mind, gauging weight and pacing lines),

work for weeks to sift through the alluvium of sound

and pan for sparkling, golden tones.

in the end, present the glorious work, but realize this:

only the clearest-eared will hear and shrewdly explain while the hungry rest

make you a god-for-five-minutes and clamor maddeningly to bask and congratulate.  

bear the moment while you can and then return to a small, locked, windowless room.  your

work is placing your fingers upon the keys day after day after day.

it will be cold there, too separate from whatever sun warms the world outside

that heavy, lonely door.

On Dreams

I have kept a birthday card my maternal grandmother gave me years ago while I was still in high school.  A bit childish for someone turning seventeen, a stitched and stuff teddy bear wishes on a bright yellow star.  The printed sentiment inside the card reads: On your birthday, may all your dreams come true.

My wonderful, faithful, practical little grandma penned her own message underneath the typography: They won't.  You have too many. 

She intended no malice and I laughed at her matter-of-fact take on the idea of dreaming: if you have a small wish, or if you conserve the number of dreams you have, the better the chance your dream will come true, right?  At the time, I disagreed with my grandma's logic (I still do); however, I have since learned that, although one doesn't have to give up their vision or stop dreaming, one may need to find flexibility in shifting their expectations of how their dreams will be fully realized.

You have to be a little flexible when you're an adult, or life just ends up disappointing you.

A Taffeta Wedding, Part I

Cars speed along the road outside an open kitchen window, spinning water up from the rain-soaked road.  I sit in the breakfast nook just of the room in which I sleep, listening to music called Pale Yellow, stretching my heart and contemplating the lyrics of a song in a show I'm playing in Maine.  I've been working for the past three weeks as a musical director for The Arundel Barn Playhouse.  The scenery is beautiful (I need to purchase a camera and start uploading photos before I have to go home); the beach is incredible and I'm making many great friends.

We've been rehearsing a relatively new show, titled A Taffeta Wedding, for the past two weeks.   Set in a TV Studio (MBC), circa 1964, and concerns the on-air wedding of four singing sisters known as The Taffetas--Kaye, Peggy, Cheryl and Donna--and their fiancees, "those singin', swingin' guys" from Alpha Mu Phi Pi, The Cardigans--Chuck, Johnny, Frankie and Buddy.  It's a great show, cleverly written and full of shoo-wop favorites including "Put Your Head on My Shoulder" and "The Shoop Shoop Song (It's in His Kiss)."  The four couples, dressed in matching pastel dresses and sweaters, travel through the ups and downs of love all in an hour and a half, culminating in a quadruple wedding--complete with a cute flower girl planted in the audience--in the second act.

The couples sing "Love Me Forever," as recorded by The Four Esquires, for their vows.

Love me (love me)
Love me completely (love me completely)
Tell me (tell me)
You will be true

Promise (promise)
Promise you'll never (promise you'll never)
Leave me (leave me)
Lost and alone

Kiss me (kiss me)
Strongly and sweetly (strongly and sweetly)
Tell me (tell me)
You will be true

Love me (love me)
Love me completely (love me completely)
Now and forever
As I love you.


Coming into the first rehearsal, I didn't have any idea that this silly show would have such an impact on my summer. I remember singing through this eight part music with these talented and gifted actors. It was getting late in the rehearsal on a humid afternoon; they were singing half-heartedly and weren't really connecting to the lyrics. I sat up at the piano, put on my music director hat and started improvising.

“Ok guys.  So, let’s take a look at what’s happening here.  These words are your wedding vows.  These are the words you are giving to that one person who has become everything to you.  More than flesh and bone and blood, and you’ve become more than flesh and bone and blood for them.  You have become breath and love and life for each other and you want to make breath and love and life together, forever.”

I took a beat, listened to what I was saying and realized I actually meant it.  I took stock of the room and saw that my actors were also deeply invested in what I was saying--some of them were even crying.  It was the first moment of many we’ve experienced together as colleagues working on A Taffeta Wedding.

When Your Names are Jayden, Andi and Nic

Dance and sing to this:

Eat this:

Watch this:

Read this:

And then nap.

"¿Cómo se dice?" and the Secret to Gay Sex, Part II

"Soh, Neeee-c, how be yoh moshunrife?" Miranda asked with a sly little grin.

I had no idea what she was asking me.  "Um, come again, my dear?"

"How be yoh moshunrife?"

"Um, my what?"

"Yoh mo-shun-rife!" she exclaimed.  "You know, rike yoh ruvrife?"

It clicked.  "Oh! My love--my emotional life?"

"Yeah, yore moshunrife!"

I reminded my dear young friend that, as pianists, she should know how much extra time there is for a love life, and thus, I had not many minutes to spare for a moshunrife.

Then, with a shy giggle laced with more cuteness than an Anime heroine, Miranda whispered, "Oh, Neeeeee-c!  I habbuh see-creh foh yoo.  Yoo move ow Utah, gae sex!"

I laughed.  Oh, how I laughed.  "You mean to tell me the secret to my losing my V-card is moving out of the state?!?"

"Oh, yes, yes.  Yoo move ow Utah, no prahb-rem foh yoo."  Miranda explained, "At my dohm, we habbuh no cuh-tain on ween-doh.  Across my room is an-uddah dohm room of berry sexy man.  He walk rown aur time no shirt on.  Sum time, he walk rown naek-ed"  Then Miranda blushed and covered her mouth with her hand.  "And sum time, he habbuh-nuddah naek-ed man in room."

"I go to crass wit naek-ed man.  Sum time, he walk into crass berry rate and profess-ah, he grumpy and he say 'Why yoo rate foh crass?" and he say, "I don't hab time puh pants on!'  So, see Neee-c?  Yoo move ow Utah, gae sex!"

"¿Cómo se dice?" and the Secret to Gay Sex, Part I

As I've described before on this blog, I spend at least five days a week, if not more, with a small and delightful group of Asian people.  They are each wonderfully gifted, driven musicians, and I am so pleased to call them my friends.  One of my dear little friends is a girl from China named Miranda.  She spent her first year of college taking an intensive collection of English-as-a-Second-Language (ESL) courses.  She writes beautifully, but her conversational language skills suffer from a very thick Chinese accent.  While her practice of the English language has sometimes been a stumbling block to her communication skills, she is the first to tease about the language "barrier" which has elicited some very funny moments in our friendship.

A fairly recent episode follows.  Just a few details to remember, dear Reader:  1) Miranda is currently attending graduate school in Ohio as a master's piano student with Italian wonder-pianist, Antonio Pompa-Baldi.  2) Miranda loves Mozart (so her compliment really meant very much to me).  3) Miranda was visiting Utah (her self-proclaimed adopted home) on break from school when this happened.

I was practicing a Mozart sonata (K. 333, for anyone who might be interested) for an upcoming performance when the practice room door opened.

"Neeeeeeeeeee-c!  Yoo prae Moh-tsah vihdy soh-gooh!  He can be yo hooss-banh!" Miranda wailed in her cheery way.  "Bach? He be my fee-oh-say, but you ken meh-dee Moh-tsah.  He be soh-gooh foh yoo."

"Oh, Miranda!" I replied,  "I don't know if I want to marry Mozart, but I'll keep playing him.  How are you?!  How is graduate school?"

"Eez soh-gooh!  Eez so hard.  Too much pieces to prae aur time."

"I'm so glad to hear that it's good.  I imagine it's difficult, but worth it.  How are you studies with Pompa-Baldi going?"

"He eez soh gooh.  Make mos bee-yoo-ti-fur pianissimos.  His Engrish berry bad, though.  Too much Itarian accent."

"So, between your Chinese accent and his Italian accent, how do you communicate in lessons?"

Miranda giggled, "Wear, he rissen to me prae, and he smire oh he frahn and he prae foh me, den I prae again."

"Wow," I said. "I guess if that works..."

"Eez soh gooh."

Miranda and I caught up a little bit.  She giggled and blushed a bit when I commented on her fabulous clothes and her uber-trendy haircut.  I asked her about her boyfriend (who stayed in UT) and if she'd seen him yet.  And, as we were discussing boys, she asked a question I couldn't quite decipher on the first--or even second or third--hearing.

Rachmaninov: The Dream, Op. 38, No. 5

Love You Forever

because you read Black Beauty, Little Women, Where the Red Fern Grows, Summer of the Monkeys, Little Britches, Stories to Tell, Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites, The Secret Garden, The Jungle Book, Tales of King Arthur and His Knights, Winnie the Pooh, The Wind in the Willows and so many others to us to us on languid summer afternoons when we were very young

because you took us to the Hyrum City Library every summer week when we were old enough to choose from the shelves ourselves

because you made waffles in the morning while we studied our scriptures and read that men like Nephi and Alma were heroes

because you helped us see Nephi's and Alma's in our everyday lives and made our father and our grandfathers and our uncles heroes of an even better value

because you gave us each a garden patch

because you let me sing to The Phantom of the Opera and Rigoletto and Reba McEntire's Greatest Hits

because you taught me how to play the piano

because you let me play Cinderella even though it worried you

because you both never were afraid to say "I Love You"

because you are good

because you microwave my food longer than your own because you know I like my food much hotter than yours

because you rubbed Vick's Vap-o-rub and alcohol packs and mustard packs on my weak chest and because you took me to doctors and specialists and because you and dad held me up to the cold air from the freezer and the warm moist air in the shower late at night when I couldn't breathe

because you never left the examination rooms when I had to rest on my stomach when the nurses pricked my back and the pricks swelled up and itched and you just tickled me so I wouldn't scratch at the reactions

because you came to every performance, and now come to every performance you can

because you encouraged my brothers and I to love each other

because I inherited your laugh

because you make me feel safe to be my best self

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My mommy you'll be.


Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

Wow!

Drinking a Chai and updating my Repertoire and Awards list.  I really know all these pieces?

Solo Piano

Arno Babadjanian

Poem (1962)

JS Bach 
The Well-Tempered Clavier, Book I

Prelude and Fugue in G major, BWV 860
F# Major, BWV 858
F# minor, BWV 859
Prelude and Fugue in B Major, BWV 868

Partita No. 2 in C minor, BWV 826

Beethoven 
Piano Concerto No. 2 in B^b, op. 19, mvt. iii
Piano Sonatas  

No. 24 in F# Major, op. 78  
No. 31 in A^b Major, op. 110

Choral Fantasy, Op. 80
Triple Concerto, Op. 56

Johannes Brahms 
Rhapsody, op. 79, no. 2
Piano Pieces, op. 118

Frederic Chopin
Nocturnes

Op. 9, 1-3
Op. 32, no. 1
Op. 37, no. 2
Op. 55, no. 1

Ballades

No 2 in F Major/A Minor, op. 38
No. 3 in A^b, op. 47

Polonaise-Fantaisie, op. 61

Claude Debussy
Selected Preludes
Estampes, L 100

Felix Mendelssohn       
Variations Serieuses, op. 54

Prelude and Fugue in E minor, Op. 35, No. 1

WA Mozart:                  
Piano Sonatas

G Major, K. 283
D Major, K. 284, mvt. i
B^b Major, K. 333

Piano Concerto no. 20 in D Minor, K. 466

Sergei Prokofiev
Piano Sonata No. 2 in D Minor, op. 14

Sergei Rachmaninov:
Preludes, Op. 23

No 3 in D Major

Preludes, op. 32

No. 13 in D^b Major

Etudes-Tableaux, op. 33

No. 3 in C Minor
No. 8 in G Minor

Etudes-Tableaux, op. 39

No. 3 in F# Minor
No. 8 in D Minor

Piano Concerto no. 1 in F# Minor, op. 1

Rachmaninov-Schubert:  Wohin?

Daisies, Op. 38, No. 3 (Transcription)

Lilacs, Op. 21, No. 5 (Transcription)

Corelli Variations, op. 42

Maurice Ravel
Oiseaux triste
Alborada del gracioso

Ned Rorem
Three Barcarolles

Camille Saint-Saens
Piano Concerto no. 2 in G Minor, op. 22

Dmitri Shostakovich
Piano Concerto no. 2 in F Major, op. 102

24 Preludes and Fugues, op. 87

No. 2 in A Minor
No. 7 in A major

Karol Szymanowski
Preludes, op. 1

C. M. von Weber
Concertpiece in F Major

Collaborative — Instrumental

Arno Babadjanian
Piano Trio in F# minor

Beethoven

Sonata for Cello and Piano in C Major, Op. 102, No. 1

Sonata for Violin and Piano in C minor, Op. 30, No. 2

Triple Concerto, Op. 56

ErnestBloch
Suite Hebraique for Viola and Piano

3 Nocturnes for Piano Trio

Johannes Brahms
Piano Quartet No. 1 in G Minor, Op. 25
Piano Quartet No. 3 in C Minor, Op. 60

Sonata for Clarinet/Viola and Piano in F Minor, Op. 120, no. 1

Sonata for Clarinet/Viola and Piano in E^b Major, Op. 120, no. 2

           

Rebecca Clarke
Piano Trio

Henry Cowell
Piano Trio: Four Combinations for Three Instruments

Bill Douglas
Trio for Oboe, Bassoon and Piano

Antonin Dvorak
“Dumky” Piano Trio, Op. 90

Eric Ewazen
Sonata for Trumpet and Piano (1995)

Gabriel Faure
Piano Quartet in C minor, Op. 15

Edvard Grieg
Piano Trio in C minor, Andante con moto

Lori Laitman
Daughters for Soprano and Piano Trio

Borislav Martinu
Sonata for Flute and Piano, 1^st Mvt.

Felix Mendelssohn
Piano Trio No. 2 in C Minor, Op. 66

W. A. Mozart
Piano Quartet in G minor, K. 478

                                    Piano Trio in C Major, K. 548

Derek Myler
Piano Trio in A

Arvo Part
Mozart-Adagio for Piano Trio

Fratres for Cello and Piano

Francis Poulenc
Trio for Oboe, Bassoon and Piano, op. 43

Sonata for Cello and Piano, Op. 143

Andre Previn
Four Songs for Soprano, Cello and Piano

Sergei Prokofiev
Sonata for Flute/Violin and Piano in D Major, op. 94

Sonata for Cello and Piano in C Major, op. 119

Sergei Rachmaninov
Trio Elegiaque No. 1 in G minor

Cello Sonata in G minor, Op. 19

Ned Rorem
Spring Music for Piano Trio

Robert Schumann
Piano Quintet in E^b, op 44, 1^st Mvt.

Fairytales for Viola and Piano, op. 113

Dmitri Shostakovich
Seven Romances on Verses by Alexander Blok, Op.127

           

John Steinmetz
Suite from an Imaginary Opera, for English Horn and Piano

Igor Stravinsky
Divertimento for Violin and Piano

Collaborative — Vocal

Beethoven
Arietta (Der Kuss), Op. 128

Resignation, WoO 149

Benjamin Britten
Cabaret Songs (Complete)

Folksong Arrangements, Volume I

The Sally Gardens

The Trees They Grow So High

The Sally Gardens

Samuel Barber
Four Songs, Op. 13 (Complete)
Three Songs, Op. 45 (Complete)
Rain Has Fallen, Op. 10, No. 3

Leonard Bernstein
La Bonne Cuisine, 4 Recipes for Voice and Piano (Complete) 
I Hate Music! (Complete)

Jason Robert Brown
The Last Five Years (Complete)

Claude Debussy
Beau Soir
Mandoline 
Romances, L. 72

Henri Duparc
Chanson triste

 Extase

Le manoir de Rosemonde

L'Invitation au voyage                            
Soupir

Antonin Dvorak
Song to the Moon from Rusalka

Gabriel Faure
Apres un reve
Au Bord De L'eau
Au Cimetiere
Le Secret

Mandoline

Gerald Finzi
Let Us Garlands Bring (Complete)

Alberto Ginastera
Cinco canciones populares argentinas         

Adam Guettel
The Light in the Piazza (Complete)

Reynaldo Hahn
L'heure exquise

Le printemps

                                   

Michael Head
Over the Rim of the Moon (Complete)

Lee Hoiby:
Lady of the Harbor

 Snake

The Doe

The Lamb
The Shepherd

Charles Ives
Ann Street
The Children’s Hour

Thoreau

Two Little Flowers

Franz Liszt
Die Lorelei
Freudvoll und Leidvoll
Im Rhein, im schönen Strome

Jules Massanet
Voix Supreme

W.A. Mozart
Abendempfindung, K. 523 
Das Veilchen, K.476

Francis Poulenc  

Airs chantes (Complete)

Andre Previn
Four Songs for Soprano, Cello and Piano (Complete)

Segei Rachmaninov
In the Silence of Secret Night, Op. 4, No. 3

Sing Not, O Lovely One, Op. 4, No. 4
She is as Beautiful as Midday, Op. 14, No. 9
Lilacs, Op. 21, No. 5
How Lovely is This Place, Op. 21, No. 7
At My Window, Op. 26, No. 10
Daisies, Op. 38, No. 3
Dreams, Op. 38, No. 5

Robert Schumann
Der Liederkreis, Op. 39

Waldesgespräch

Mondnacht

Frühlingsnacht 

Der Arme Peter, Op. 53 (Complete)
Schöne Wiege meiner Leiden, Op. 24, No. 5

Dmitri Shostakovich
 Seven Romances on Verses by Alexander Blok, Op.127

Stephen Sondheim
Finishing the Hat
Green Finch and Linnet Bird

Kiss Me

Hugo Wolf
Lebe whol

Nixe Binsefuss

Orchestral  Reductions

Samuel Barber
Violin Concerto

Bela Bartok
Violin Rhapsody No. 1

Leonard Bernstein
West Side Story (Complete)

Max Bruch
Violin Concerto in G Minor, Op. 26

Scottish Fantasy

Antonin Dvorak
Cello Concerto in B Minor, Op. 104

Eric Ewazen
Concerto for Marimba and String Orchestra (1999)

Hummel
Viola Fantasie, Op. 94

Edward MacDowell
Piano Concerto No. 2 in D Minor, Op. 23

Frank Martin
Ballade for Flute

Felix Mendlessohn
Violin Concerto in E Minor, Op. 64

WA Mozart
Cosi fan tutte (Complete)
Flute Concerto in G Major, K. 313
Piano Concert i D Minor, K. 466

Piano Concerto in A Major, K. 488

Sergei Prokofiev
Violin Concerto No. 1 in D Major, Op. 19

Giaccamo Puccini
Suor Angelica (Complete)

Camille Saint-Saens
Violin Concerto No. 3 in B minor, Op. 61

Just So You Know

When this is empty, what should you do, my dears?

REFILL THE DAMN THING!!!

Peevish

-cracked glass
-cracked knuckles
-ward choir directors
-talking on your cell phone while when you stand in line in front of me
-cutting in line
-singers who close their eyes self-indulgently while singing
-curling wall paper
-the feeling of chalk
-huge, blingy hairclips











-poor grammar
-poor taste
-farting, burping and other gassy pffts
-when you say melk instead of milk
-clock tower bells
-church bells
-bells in general
-Christmas music before Thanksgiving
-when your collar doesn't hide the necktie at the back of your neck
-leftover Chinese food

cute commercial

that really makes me want to buy an audi

love (double-click)

Thank you 9gag.com

Singing Along is the Only Way You Really Can Watch

I drove with my mother and father to Phoenix, AZ a few months ago for my second niece's first birthday.  Her mom suggested I get a Disney DVD for her gift.  We stopped at a Target on the way down, and I saw something that just absolutely made my day:  Mary Poppins on DVD.

Now, you have to realize, Mary is one of my all-time favorite movies, ever.  Before I had to go to kindergarten, I'd watch it three or four times a day, singing with Julie Andrews at the top of my lungs, probably driving my mother crazy.  I still have all the songs memorized by heart.  I still have a crush on the exceptional Ms. Andrews.  I've finally admitted that all these years I've had a crush on Dick Van Dyke, too.

It is, quite simply put, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

I am Never Easy with the Rain

This gray-dripping day seeps
itself into the tight skin
of my heart,
muddying my daydreams like many
strokes of watercolor,
mixed, puddled--
a grayer rainbow on a plastic tray.

Heavy,
I sat at the computer this afternoon,
clicked on a photo my brother took

where you gasp
and you squeal

and squint
and laugh

where you're held
inside your grandma's smiling arms

a sprinkler flings droplets of water
like thin quick freckles on your skin

and carefree ecstasy
brushed brightly upon your face

I envy
these reminding moments you give my young brother
that your life is still sensuously enjoyed,
that you are pure, and still small--

that you are his.

Gibson Girl

I was at one of my favorite local coffee shops, chatting away with a snarky, black-haired,black-booted barrista when I noticed an intriguing tattoo on her forearm.  There was this beautiful Gibson Girl growing out of a rose.  It was stunning.  Really, honestly stunning.

"That's a gorgeous tattoo," I said, handing over a twenty dollar bill, admiring the work of whoever had been her artist.  "I love the Gibson girl--that Victorian ideal of feminine youth."

"I love her, too," my coffee girl beamed as she readied my latte.  "I've always thought she is so classy, so très chic and soooo pretty.  Who wouldn't want a girl like her on their arm?"

"Pretty girls weren't meant to hang on everyone's arm, darling," I teased,  "but I sure can admire a fine specimen when I see one and it looks like you are one lucky lady."

We laughed and she gave me my coffee and my change.  I smiled every time I thought about her.  I hope she smiled all day, too.

kind of amazing

Little Asian Children

I never imagined I'd spend every day of my life with Asian classmates or Asian professors, but I should've guessed. I'm a music student in the US. Conservatories and schools are full with with promising young students from the Orient. Competitions are won every weekend, and the prizewinners? Soloists from Taiwan, Japan, Korea and China whose note-perfect renditions of Lizst's Transcendental Etudes and Chopin's Ballades and Mozart's Sonatas and Bach's Fugues leave anyone who listened breathless, yet often emotionally unmoved.

My professor, Dr. Yang, has a six-year old student name Richie. I'm not sure what his ethnic heritage is, but he is a beautiful little black-haird, almond eyed little boy. He'll probably be the next Mozart. He played a Haydn Concerto for me today, and I was so impressed by his playing. I think I was even more impressed, though, when he and his 2-year old brother were running past me and some string-playing friends, chasing and laughing at each other in their own little language, an amalgamation of something like Cantonese and English.

They were so full of joy. They were so innocently happy. I remembered how some things make life sweet.

Even though Richie will probably be competing against my own future students and winning state and national competitions, both he and his little brother made me want to figure out how to have my own little ones, someday, running down the hall of some music school, making tired conservatory students smile.

been a while...

because i'm tired. healthy and happy, yes, but sooo busy, and thus, tired. Maybe because I'm learning this.



working on some ideas for posts, though. i'll write something soon.